Chapter 59

At first there was complete shock on his face. The shock slowly morphed into understanding as the words settled in his head followed by a deep sigh as he took his seat. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him looking at me but I couldn’t bear to meet his eyes. I wanted to be able to keep a clear head and an even clearer mind while he spoke.

“I don’t know where to start,” he began. “I don’t know where the issue started from. I don’t know what you saw or what you heard but I know one thing is I would have never dreamed of doing anything to hurt you. Camilla, I lo-,”

“Don’t say it, please,” I was annoyed at how weak my voice sounded. I was annoyed that I knew what he was about to say and I didn’t want to hear it because those three words would promptly end this conversation and I would be back in his arms like nothing ever happened.

I hated how weak it made me feel and how easy it would be for him to just sway me and get me back in his arms like nothing happened. Everything was suddenly so confusing because I don’t even know what to believe anymore. I don’t know if I should believe what I saw or what mother and Ryker say.

I know I believe my mother because she wouldn’t lie to me and I hate to say it but I already believe Ryker. Judging by what mother said, he didn’t cheat but that doesn’t explain what I saw. It is like there is a war raging in my head and I don’t know what is real and what isn’t anymore. I don’t know who to believe or if I can even trust myself at this point.

“Camilla,” Ryker’s voice was soft and pleading. “I have never looked at Lauren twice since I met you. I don’t want her, I have never wanted her. Since the moment you stumbled across my border, even when I told you I didn’t want a mate, even when you wouldn’t look me in the eye like you wouldn’t right now. I was wholly and completely yours from the first moment our eyes met and I don’t know what I can say to make you believe me because you know what you saw and I believe you when you say you saw that but I know for a fact that I was nowhere near Lauren while you were at the pack house.”

“Then who was with her?” I asked finally turning to face him. “Who was the man who looked exactly like you that she was f**king in your office? She was bent over your desk and someone was standing behind her. Who was it if not you?”

“I don’t know.”

I threw my hand up in frustration and stood to my feet. If I had a scrap of sense or dignity, I would walk away right now. It makes no sense how I know I saw him there but he is adamant that nothing happened and he wasn’t even there. If someone else were in my position I would have told them to leave because he was trying to gaslight them but I am here and I can see the sincerity in his

eyes.

He looked just as frustrated as I did. He looked annoyed by the entire thing and he just looked sad. He looked like he wanted it all to be over and his emotions mirrored mine because I wanted it all to be over. I wanted to be back in his arms, I wanted to forget everything and I just wanted him.

I ran my hands down my face in barely concealed frustration and I could see Ryker watching me carefully as if I was a ticking time bomb on the brink of explosion. He looked like he was preparing for the worst case scenario.

“Where is Lauren now?” I asked. “Where has she been in the past four years?”

“I would assume she was in the pack but I’m not sure because I never checked on her once. I didn’t care what she was doing because my main focus was finding you. My only reason for waking up every day was to find you. I told you a few days ago that she wasn’t found at the pack. I don’t know how long she has been missing.”

“You don’t have a child with her,” I repeated just to be sure and he nodded.

“You are the only woman I have and have ever wanted a child with. If Lauren truly was pregnant then you

would know because I would never shy away from my parental duties and you know that. I don’t know exactly what you saw Camilla but I know this, you cannot believe a word Lauren says. I couldn’t get Lucy to come over but she is adamant that she never had any sort of conversation like that with Lauren.”

Iwanted to pull my hair out and scream. If he truly doesn’t have a child with Lauren then she lied. The problem is was Lucy in on that lie? Was everything I saw a lie? I don’t know what is real and what is not anymore. It is frustrating and it makes me feel like I am running in circles. It makes me feel like I am in the woods blindfolded and I am nearing a cliff but I don’t know how to avoid it before I fall to my death.

“What now?” I asked softly because I didn’t know what else to do or say. “What happens now?”

“I’m doing everything I can to find Lauren. She is the only other common denominator in everything and she is the only person who knows the truth. I don’t expect you to believe me or come back to me Camilla but I truly hope that you give me a chance.copy right hot novel pub